Bobby, It’s Cold Outside

Five weeks before Christmas, Lenny orders his Christmas gift online and receives it two days later from UPS, but someone immediately steals it. Meanwhile, Sideshow Bob is working as a lighthouse keeper and is visited by Cassandra Patterson, a neighbor. She tells him she mentioned him in town, and Bob knows he let his guard down around her when two men come visiting, but they offer him a job at the Springfield Mall as Santa Claus. Later, more people are robbed of their delivered gifts.

The Simpsons visit Santa's village. Bart skips the line to see Santa, only to realize that it is secretly Sideshow Bob. Bob starts strangling Bart, but he stops in order to not break character. Later, when a plan to trick the robbers with gunpowder fails for Lenny, Lenny writes "SB" with his blood. When the news is reported, Homer thinks that SB means Selma Bouvier and she is arrested, freeing the recently held suspects Scott Bakula, Steve Ballmer, and Sandra Bullock.

Bart suspects Bob due to the latter's nickname also being 'SB', but Bob agrees to help Bart find the culprit by concealing himself in a box that is placed on the porch. The thief arrives and takes Bob, and the family follows the van to a hangar, where they find out Waylon Smithers and Mr. Burns were the culprits (S is for Smithers, B is for Burns). Lisa correctly guesses that Burns did it because he is depressed, and Burns tells the story of how as a child, he was heartbroken one Christmas. He asked Santa for just a hug and a smile from his parents and they never delivered, sending him to boarding school instead.